Does anyone have an older parent whose behavior is so foul that it totally embarrasses you? Now don't get me wrong, I love my dad dearly but since he had his stroke back in August.. his behavior has been very embarrassing.
Now you have to know that my dad comes from a long line of hillybilly gar-bage. I am serious. I guess that means that I do as well! HA!
Anyway, we are waiting way too long in the waiting room the other day at the doctor. Dad is getting irritated. He starts reading things on the wall... like a list of gadgets and creams and whatnot you can buy in the office. Now, a backnobber is a little plastic device that you can rub your own back with... and my dad says really loud.. What the H*** is that stuff??! I explained the backnobber is to rub the knots out of your own back... he then asks VERY loudly "Well then what is a Jacknobber??!!!!"
You already know where this is going , right? He again announces to everyone "What is a JACKNOBBER!? Something for your D---!!!??! HAHAHAH! Yeah, man, I want one of THOSE before I leave here!! HAHAHAHAH"
I almost fainted FLAT out right there! He laughed like a wildman.. thot he was very funny. I could feel the blood draining from my face and I think the Amish woman beside us slithered off her chair like Bugs Bunny used to , she actually liquified.
I didn't know if I should turn my head toward the wall and laugh hysterically or if I should cry. I tried to change the subject right away.. distract him. Once he gets on a roll... it gets very out of control.
Later the Pope came on the tv and he starts ranting about him... says he doesn't know why everyone raves over him.. he's a fake... a phony... he's not the REAL right hand man.. HA HA HA HA HAHA!!! Again, amusing himself.
Dear Lord.... I then added that I can't figure out why the Pope rides in that bullet proof Pope mobile... doesn't show much faith in God if you have to have bullet proof glass in your mobile, now does it?? Hmmmm?
We waited for a total of 1.5 hours in the waiting area while I tried to distract him and entertain him like you would a child. When we finally got called back he promptly announced to everyone in the waiting room that he was going to "ram his cane up the doctor's A--" when he got back there.....It was funny, but it wasn't. You just can't encourage him... others in there just don't appreciate our "style" of humor... HA!!! I was hoping I would evaporate.. it didn't happen.
Ya gotta love yer parents.. no matter what!!