Squatter #%$&*!

[Joopin]

Okay, I rarely vent to you guys, but I feel like punching a hole in my office wall right now. I will tell you now that it has nothing to do with jeeps, girlfriends, parents, or my job. But some of you may relate to my situation since many of us have had the blessed opportunity of... BAD ROOMMATES.

Turn back now if you don't give a crap (I don't blame you) it's just a bunch of BS that makes me get premature gray hair.

A little background: Back in May of '05 my brother and I find a place to get together in Belmar, NJ. It's a 3 bedroom. All the people we both know and like are already in apts, and some don't want to move out of mommys house and pay rent.

My brother mentioned this guy, (we will call him... Pigvomit... because I can't type the name he deserves... and Howard Stern said it best) seems a little strange when I meet him but hey we need a third to pay the rent, and it's a killer apt. that is too good to pass up. So we all move in. Well between last May and the present, my brother and I have noticed... well he sucks.

I will break it down rather going into little stories taking up peoples time.

Reasons Pigvomit sucks:
Dispite reminders, both vocal and visual, never takes out the garbage or recycling. (he actually went as far as carefully placing an empty shampoo bottle on top of the already overflowing bathroom trash.)

Speaking of recycling, we have a seperate garbage can for it, average sized. The kid drinks milk like it's the days of prohibition, which leads to many 1 gallon milk jugs. These jugs end up in the recycle bin yes, but only 3 fit in the thing cause he doesn't crush them! Which lead me to learn something else, when I went to make more room and crush one... I get punched in the face with rotton milk smell! Apparently he doesn't rinse them out and likes to keep the tops on.

Leaves used plates, glasses, jello snackpack cups with spoons stuck inside laying around the house whereever he was eating/drinking.
Obviously because of the last reason, never loads the dishwasher. (How difficult is it to open the door and place a dish in there anyway?)

Needs to be reminded every month to cut a rent check (duh)

Now for the gross one: Clogs the shower drain with hair, AND DOESN'T CLEAN IT OUT! I don't know if he doesn't realize that he is shedding everytime he takes a shower, but the amount of hair I pulled out of the drain, I could make a mullet wig with it if I had the stomach.

Some of those may seem small and I may seem anal about things, but when it happens everyday and the kid doesn't even say a word of thanks or any kind of communication at all, well lets just say it's been building up for a while. Of course there are many other things that are just plain stupid and I don't have the time to type anymore. But the reason this whole vent has been concieved is...

Last night he brings a friend in that was kicked out of his moms place. I come home, my brother takes me aside and tells me that Pigvomit told this guy its okay for him to stay at our place for a couple days! He did ask my brother if it was okay, my brother is just too nice, or just dumb... because nobody seemed to think to ask ME, the third roommate. This is where the title of the post comes in. We now have a SQUATTER in our apt. which first of all ils illegal and all of us can get evicted for letting him stay here or subletting the apt. My landlord also knows everyone in the town, drives by our place everyday... and will most likely find out what is going on.

So now my butt is on the line here, but it won't be for long. I will be laying down the law tonight and there will probably be some yelling (from my end). All the matters above may come up, and the fact that he is a waste of space may come up... but probably only if he puts up any kind of fight or gives me reasons why this should all be "Okay".

Tonight will not be a PC night.
thanks for reading my vent.
signed,

[JeepMonkey]

Ahh yes.....nothing makes enemies faster then moving in with them. I can totally relate to your woes since I'm now living in a room with 50 other guys. Plus, we share showers with a couple other hundred guys. Though none of us have long enough hair to clog up the drain it still get's pretty disgusting in there. I too have been known to be too much of a nice guy in the past. I finally stopped caring a few times and told a few people what I thought of their living habits. It didn't fix the problem, but I sure felt better about myself afterwards. Good luck!

[joedirt]

Something that I figured out along the way is that nice guys finish last, so its time to put mr. nice guy away and put your foot down with pigvomit.

good luck

[bchcky]

is his name actually on the lease? if not, i'd suggest sucking it up for a month, kicking him out, and finding a new roomie. if not, good luck :)

roommates are a pain in the ass. i got pretty lucky this year living with a friend and a friend of his. if you look at my bedroom, its a mess most of the time. empty glasses are always around, clothes on the floor, etc.. but it's MY room. when it comes to the common area, bathroom, and kitchen, i'm the cleanest person. clutter i can deal with, filth i cannot. everyone is pretty good about taking out the trash and doing their own dishes here, but i can relate to you cause i've lived in situations where people don't do their share, and it can turn ugly quickly. good luck with your squatter! :)

[judge09]

Yeah I feel for you. bad roommates are the worst. I have had my share and I am very glad to be out of the apt/roommates situation. Good Luck!

[Joopin]

Originally Posted by bchcky

is his name actually on the lease? if not, i'd suggest sucking it up for a month, kicking him out, and finding a new roomie. if not, good luck :)

roommates are a pain in the ass. i got pretty lucky this year living with a friend and a friend of his. if you look at my bedroom, its a mess most of the time. empty glasses are always around, clothes on the floor, etc.. but it's MY room. when it comes to the common area, bathroom, and kitchen, i'm the cleanest person. clutter i can deal with, filth i cannot. everyone is pretty good about taking out the trash and doing their own dishes here, but i can relate to you cause i've lived in situations where people don't do their share, and it can turn ugly quickly. good luck with your squatter! :)

EXACTLY! I don't care about his room (which is a mess) but when his crap effects the rest of the house, thats when it bothers me. Pigvomits name is on the lease. I have been sucking it up for almost 9 months, and it's now time to blow it out. I'll huff and I'll puff!!! I may not have explained that the squatter is pigvomits friend. I also just found out from my brother that the squatter slept at my place saturday night too, and THAT night was supposed to be the only one. Well it's time for the big bad wolf to get angry... and this time the little piggys are going to loose.

[V8NAMESE]

OK man I feel for you having lived w/ roomates that didnt carry their own weight. And having been in many uncomfortable situations, I'll give you that. But you said something that really tells me that maybe you nave some problems yourself........









......Howard Stern has NEVER said anything worth listening to, NEVER!!

[90Xjay]

Originally Posted by V8NAMESE

......Howard Stern has NEVER said anything worth listening to, NEVER!!

Or for that matter, worth paying for.

[redrooster]

I had a roomate in college who did some strange stuff. He was actually a friend from high school and is still a friend to this day. He never, ever, ever cleaned his bathroom the whole year we lived at the apt together. He also would always take a shower in the dark. Never with the lights on. I don't know if his naked physique was so unbearable that he couldn't stand it, or if he had a phobia of some sort. Nevertheless, it was lights out. He would also pile up his boxer shorts on the back of the toilet when he removed them to get in the shower. They would pile up until he was out, then he would wash them.
One time I came home and a pair of nasty drawers were outside by the bushes. I asked him whose drawers they were. He told me he ran out of TP and had to wipe with them. I said he could have at least run them over to the dumpster. Straight up nasty.

[bchcky]

i've had all kinds of roommates. girls are not as fun for roommates as a young man would think, sooooo much hair! and what is all the crap in the bathroom? are they really different products? but the worst roommate i ever had was first semester freshman year. smelly kid. i used to spray his sheets and clothes and towels with febreeze when he wasnt there, and keep the door/windows open as much as possible. to all you people with kids, just make sure your kid doesnt get stuck with the smelly kid when they go off to college.

[mingez]

Scaring Me.... just moved in with a Roommate.

[Joopin]

Originally Posted by V8NAMESE

......Howard Stern has NEVER said anything worth listening to, NEVER!!

Well I'm not a fan either, but if you have seen the Private Parts movie, thats where I got the name Pigvomit from. "...because he looks like a pig, and makes me want to vomit." that a line from the movie.

You guys keep talking about the smelly kid, well that's pigvomit... and now he's got his even smellier friend living here... and he's sleeping on my livingroom couch! This morning I was tempted to turn the heat down and open all the windows in the living room for our unwelcome guest... Lucky for him I was running late for work.

The time is near.

Oh and Mingez, you better lay down the rules before it's too late. Learn from my mistake.

[Sparky-Watts]

Dude, I can relate. My brother and I bought a house together back in the mid 80's. Payments were only like $250 a month, so we didn't need any help paying the mortgage. My brother had a friend that was a, well....best word I can think of is "mooch". Sure enough, he told my brother it would be cool if he moved in with us. He didn't ask him if he could, just told him it would be cool. Our house was a two bedroom house. We had an enclosed front porch that the jerk decided was going to be his bedroom!! Oh, yeah, my brother was too much of a nice guy to tell him no. So, with no front porch anymore, any visitors had to trapse around to the side door to come in to the house. The original deal was for him to pay half the mortgage while my brother and I paid the other half. That lasted a month. Then my brother caved again and said we'd split it three ways. I resisted, but was also a nice guy and didn't want to start a fight with my brother, so I agreed. That arrangement lasted about 3 months. Then each month that his rent was due, he'd come up with another story why he couldn't pay. I should also mention that since he was living in the front porch, there was no heat out there, so he went out and bought 3, count'em, 3 of those little electric heaters. I don't know if you're familiar with these things, but they're called "milk heaters", because farmers use them to heat the milking stalls in their barns. One heater will suck up about $400 worth of electricity a month when used all day and night. Remember, he had 3 of them. Needless to say, he wouldn't pay his share of the utility bills, either. Then my brother lost his job, and couldn't keep paying his friend's share, so now I was paying all the bills. Oh, and the dishes? Yeah....I finally got tired of washing them all the time, so I just let them sit. I bought myself some paper plates and plastic silverware to use. Mooch went out and bought a new set of dishes and silverware, rather than spend 20 minutes washing the ones we already had. When those were dirty, he bought more. Seriously. He did that about twice a month. I put up with it for about a year, then quit paying the mortgage without telling my brother or Mooch. Well, needless to say, we got evicted and the house was sold at a Sheriff's auction. Mooch never did pay back the $13,000 he ended up owing me and my brother. Last I knew, he was living in one of those pop-up camping trailers in another friend's backyard with no electricity or water.

I feel your pain.

[Joopin]

Sparky wins, I'm glad I don't have it that bad. Well I got the squatter thing delt with but he still needs the cleaning and doing crap around the house, didn't have that convo with him yet. He basically said yes to everything I said, he knew I was ****ed. I knew you guys would be there for me! Thanks!

[judge09]

Originally Posted by Sparky-Watts

Dude, I can relate. My brother and I bought a house together back in the mid 80's. Payments were only like $250 a month, so we didn't need any help paying the mortgage. My brother had a friend that was a, well....best word I can think of is "mooch". Sure enough, he told my brother it would be cool if he moved in with us. He didn't ask him if he could, just told him it would be cool. Our house was a two bedroom house. We had an enclosed front porch that the jerk decided was going to be his bedroom!! Oh, yeah, my brother was too much of a nice guy to tell him no. So, with no front porch anymore, any visitors had to trapse around to the side door to come in to the house. The original deal was for him to pay half the mortgage while my brother and I paid the other half. That lasted a month. Then my brother caved again and said we'd split it three ways. I resisted, but was also a nice guy and didn't want to start a fight with my brother, so I agreed. That arrangement lasted about 3 months. Then each month that his rent was due, he'd come up with another story why he couldn't pay. I should also mention that since he was living in the front porch, there was no heat out there, so he went out and bought 3, count'em, 3 of those little electric heaters. I don't know if you're familiar with these things, but they're called "milk heaters", because farmers use them to heat the milking stalls in their barns. One heater will suck up about $400 worth of electricity a month when used all day and night. Remember, he had 3 of them. Needless to say, he wouldn't pay his share of the utility bills, either. Then my brother lost his job, and couldn't keep paying his friend's share, so now I was paying all the bills. Oh, and the dishes? Yeah....I finally got tired of washing them all the time, so I just let them sit. I bought myself some paper plates and plastic silverware to use. Mooch went out and bought a new set of dishes and silverware, rather than spend 20 minutes washing the ones we already had. When those were dirty, he bought more. Seriously. He did that about twice a month. I put up with it for about a year, then quit paying the mortgage without telling my brother or Mooch. Well, needless to say, we got evicted and the house was sold at a Sheriff's auction. Mooch never did pay back the $13,000 he ended up owing me and my brother. Last I knew, he was living in one of those pop-up camping trailers in another friend's backyard with no electricity or water.

I feel your pain.

I have to admit I am alittle disappointed. I thought this story was going to end with the traditional Kansas shotgun blast If I lived in Kansas I would have run that sucker off my porch with the 12 gauge.

[Green97TJ]

Ill tell ya something else that can ruin a good roommate. Him getting a freaking girlfriend. Ever since my roommate started dating this girl he constantly borrows stuff from the kitchen (like cookie sheets), takes them to her house and doesnt bring them back till like 2 months later. They eat all the food I buy, but never buy any to replace it (Ive started keeping anything that doesnt need refrigerated in my closet). She talks behind my back and gripes about how I keep the thermostat too cool and how I should realize that Im not the only one in the apartment. Excuse me, but when you start paying rent you can have a say in the temp, until then, shut your mouth. She stays over here all the time (another reason she should have to pay rent). And I have to fight to get his half of the cable bill because he complains htat he doesnt have any money. But he doesnt have a job and the two of them eat out at places like applebee's all the time.

Sorry, I had to jump in on the venting too.

Nathan