A couple more things...Funny/strange

Abutterfly · #1 (**permalink**) 11-26-2006, 09:40 AM

#1. Back before I put the hard top on... there was a hilarious and WAY bizarre incident involving my Jeep and some roadkill? or some unidentified foreign matter.... sit back and enjoy these stories as I swear they are true.
My 2 kids and I are out for a sunny day cruise.. top off ( Not mine.. the Jeeps )... just cruisin' along radio blaring... headin' to Fun City when all of a sudden I hear this God awful shriek from my shotgun passenger... AAHHHHHHH! MOM!!! OH God Mom!!!
I said WHAAAT? What happened??!
Mom!! MOM?? OH my god.. oh my god.. OH MY GODDDDDDD Mom! Something just splattered all over MEEEEEEEE!!! Oh GOD.. Oh!!!
What? What are you talking about??!!!
You ran over something in the road and SOMETHINGGGG FLEW ALL OVEEERRR MEEEE!!!! UUUHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! I'm GONNA PUKE!!

SO it's at this point when I realize my oldest child has been splattered with "something" that we have not yet identified. I say relax, relax... We are one mile from home... relax.
She says.. RELAX??!!! I am splattered with somethings GUTS.. OH GOD OH GOD!!
I didn't know whether to laugh or cry or what. She is sitting still like a stone and the other one ain't sayin' Jack in the back seat....
She just keeps mumbling stuff... scaring me half to death. I didn't hit anything in the road I don't think.. there was no circumstantial 'carcass' to speak of in the rear view...??
We pull into the yard and I get out and she is splattered with something NASTY and yellow and white and greenish.. and all over her neck.. back.. side of head... and I have NO idea what it was and she was saying she was gonna throw up so LOOK OUT!
She ran into the house shouting that she would NEVER get in that stupid stinkin' bleepity bleep Jeep EVER again!!! So I don't know if it was a major load of bird doody or what.. she says she heard us run over something and she was sprayed with this unGodly gunk... I did laugh when she went inside but if it were me I would have freaked out!! The fun that is to be explored in a Jeep..

#2. I was at work getting something out of the car when I realized I had locked my keys inside. OH MAN.. you know how you get that hot flashy feeling and then you go NOOOOOOOO! The door has to be open!! You check it again and look in and see the keys and UUHHHHHHHHH!

I was thinking how irritated my old man is gonna be when he has to drive 20 miles down here to bring me the spare key and how stupid I am and ....when suddenly after about one minute of trying to figure out a way I realized I could unzip my window and get them out!!!!!!!!!!HAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! HOW FUNNY IS THAT!!???? I must be a total idiot! Come on now.. go easy. I hadn't had the Jeep long and I never had any windows that zipper.. so that is what I did... and I laughed the entire way into work!!!

( caution-contains disturbing matter. Do not read any more if you are really sensitive ) And last but not least... I have noticed lately that there must be some link between wacky people and Jeeps or something.. myself included. No , really. I was watching some detective show of some kind the other night and the "killer" drove a red Jeep Cherokee and then the next night I was watching Sensing Murder and the murder suspects vehicle was a red Jeep Cherokee!! NO joke!
I commented to my hubby about it and he said yea, last nights murderer drove the same color and model!!! and THEN.. get this... we remembered that our neighbor down the street was arrested a few months back for MURDER and he drove... guess? A RED JEEP CHEROKEE!!! No kidding!

I knew who he was as our bus stop is at his house... nice guy.. really.. seemed nice and here is what he did. He killed his brother with a crowbar at moms house in the garage.. then went home to get a saw.. returned and dismembered bro'sky. ( just to make it easy to transport, he did NOT do it to be gruesome...so he said ) He then buried his torso in our local state park AND... took the rest home in the back of the Jeep in a Hefty bag. Then he drove to Blockbuster video and Walmart with WIFE AND KIDS IN CAR and bro in back. Later that night.. he drove somewhere else and (I will spare the details..) disposed of the rest except the head which he placed on the passenger side seat out in the open. He then called the wife and told her he did something bad and she asked if he had a fight with bro and then she knew something was terrible wrong and called the cops.
They chased him around and stopped him at the local High school unaware that bro was on the seat up front. Talk about a shocker!! Needless to say he is in prison for a long time but BOY, don't those Cherokees come in handy??!!! All that extra room..... The possibilities are endless!!!! I swear these stories are true...just a day in the life of me. But seriously, it was a very horrible event. Absolutely mind blowing and gruesome. He had a nice little family and 3 small kids. I think the moral of the story is.... do not covet thy brothers wife.. cause you just never know what he may do. ( and you never know WHAT he's drivin'!! )

I am not saying ALL Jeepers are wonky, but I can speak for myself and I am totally stinkin' nutz. Certifiable and VERY FUN at parties!