A recent procedure!

[cewtwo]

I’m getting older, though you may not know.
My Doctor informed me its time to go
For a certain medical procedure for older men
So, I got a referral and set the when.

The new Doctor poked and prodded the old derriere,
Making this first visit a little bit strange,
We discussed the need for this routine medical fare,
A date was determined and a prescription arranged.

A clear liquid diet the day before?
Take the prescription and stay near a restroom door?
This might be a procedure that I might deplore
And all because doctors think it wise to explore.

The good news on the day before the task
Only a half day at work did I need to pass,
I got back to the house and drank the first half,
My stomach soon gurgled and I felt a need to pass.

Repeatedly and often I visited that room,
With a regular rhythm not too bad no gloom,
It ended soon after (boy was I glad)
And I thought to myself that it wasn’t so bad.

Again in the morning I arose and did drink,
The self same solution that started this stink.
A repeat of the night just passed led me to think,
This might not be so bad as I sat on my butt and stared at the sink!

I arrived at the surgery center a little queasy,
Hoping, after all this anticipation, it would still be easy.
After check-in and signing away my very soul,
I was banded and set to wait patiently , under control.

I waited and waited, what was taking so long?
Maybe with his first patient, something went wrong.
I looked at the door and thought that maybe I should go.
As I worked up my courage to leave, you know.

Oh No1 They called my name
The time is now. Let’s play this game!
I was taken to the back and gave them my stats
I was given a gurney and asked to strip (oh rats!)

I was given the shirt and asked to lay down,
Then she had a needle and started to warm up my right arm.
I looked away as she put the needle in my arm
The first time was not charmed.

She called in some help to get the IV in good
The second one found it and improved my mood.
I was quite nervous and she helped me to calm down,
Then all too soon, I was on my way to the Operating round.

I met the staff as they finished the prep,
The Doctor said Hi, then asked me to turn on my side.
He asked if I was ready. I told him I was
Then they administered the drugs and that was the last I realized!

I was being wheeled out to a recovery room,
Where crackers and soda lightened my gloom.
After a while I became more aware,
And a friend handed me papers explaining my care.

Diverticulosis and polyps were found in there,
Biopsies were taken for analysis and further care.
I survived this procedure! I was actually coping!
I have been through my first colonoscopy!

As they sent me packing through that back door,
They told me they’d see me in just 5 years more!

[redrooster]

Before my wife became a stay at home mom, she was a gastro nurse for many years. I have heard stories that would make you cringe.

[90Xjay]

funny you should post that.. A co-worker is having one in the morning, his first.

[cewtwo]

Sure, its funny now! On Tuesday, it wasn't funny at all...

[B'ham Jeeper]

Love the poem! Been there, done that. Really don't want to have to do it again.....

[Utah_jeepster]

AHH the magic age of 40 and your first trip down colonoscopy lane...ahh the memories....

[BaconYJ]

My dad has told me about a couple of his visits. They were enough to make me do a pucker factor 11, 10 being the highest. Good poem. I am so not looking forward to getting old

[cewtwo]

Ahem...

I refer to it as, "Getting older..."