YOU KNOW YOU HAVE A REAL JEEP IF...

[purpleyjgirl]

YOU KNOW YOU HAVE A REAL JEEP IF...


1. If you use a hose to clean the inside and the outside


2. When the best route from point A to point B is through the rockpile or over the mountain


3. When a scratch or a dent is a beauty mark


4. You roll it over and don't get upset


5. Your mom and sister can't get in without help


6. You judge every hill you see by how much fun it would be to climb


7. You puke when you see a RAV4


8. You get custom pin-striping from trail brush


9. When a low-rider Jeep pulls up next to you and you get out and *****-slap the driver


10. If it takes more than 6 hours to get donuts


11. When you pull into the unplowed parking spots on snowy days


12. When you take your friends wheeling and they say "What trail -I don't see a trail!"


13. When you've been forced to add TJ, CJ, YJ and XJ to your spell-checker


14. When you can see OVER a Suburban


15. You carry emergency supplies and clothing because you never know
where you will end up


16. When your Nerf bars battle rocks and win


17. When it rains and you don't care that your tops and doors are off


18. When you drive around to look at Christmas lights topless


19. When you change your plugs in the parking lot at work on a break


20. If your "Parts Dept." is on blocks behind your house


21. When you take your Mom wheeling and she has to help you flip the Jeep
back onto its wheels again


22. You use an ice-scraper on the INSIDE of the windshield


23. You get more heat from holes in the floorboards than through the heater vents


24. Every page of your repair manual has greasy fingerprints


25. Passengers scream "DON'T ROLL IT!" when you take them wheeling


26. You spend more time under your Jeep than under your significant other


27. Winter comes and your can't remember where you left the roof


28. You spend more on car washes than on insurance


29. Even worse the car wash won't let you in


30. You fix almost everything yourself


31. When you feel sorry for someone in a $60,000 Toyota Land Cruiser


32. When you have all your credit card numbers memorized


33. When you slam the door and chunks of dried mud crumble to the ground


34. If you get asked to pick up your co-workers in a snowstorm and get paid for it


35. Your wife/girlfriend refuses to get in it


36. You are the only one on the street who doesn't plow their driveway


37. You are dating the Service, Parts or Sales Manager at the Jeep dealership


38. You try to run the plow trucks off the road when it snows heavily


39. You can't hear your $200 stereo over the howl of your tires on the highway


40. You have a high-water mark INSIDE the Jeep


41. Any tire that isn't waist high looks like a bagel


42. You can't take a girl, who's wearing a dress, on a date without carrying
along a set of steps


43. You can't sneak into church late because the engine is too loud.


44. You carry along enough tools to supply a small garage


45. You nickname your Jeep after the noises it makes or it's most damaging trail accident


46. You carry along a replacement part for every drive component on the Jeep


47. You can air up your tires without stopping at a gas station.


48. You know how to reinforce the windshield frame near the wiper arm


49. You're constantly getting passed on the highway.


50. Your wallet is always empty.


51. When your boss's secretary calls to "recommend" that you wash your Jeep


52. When you finally wash the mud off, everyone thinks you bought a new Jeep [addsig]

[far_right]

53. You smell like gas every where you go[addsig]

[Joopin]

54. You only know how much gas you have left by looking at the odometer.[addsig]

[Snitty]

56. you make bets on what part you will be upgrading after your next outting[addsig]

[JE420EP]

57. When you have a rope tied to each side of your roll bar to keep both seats from falling backwards beacuse the frames broke.[addsig]

[cj5steve]

this makes me laugh boy have i got the jeep bug bad!!!i think it is green hahaha. :-D

edited by: cj5steve, Jul 06, 2003 - 09:30 PM[addsig]

[ZBTstang]

77. If you ever get worried that someones gonna steal your windows and your doors

78. Part of your emergency roadside kit is a couple garbage bags incase it rains

79. you suddenly feel the urge to move to the woods and buy a log cabin

80. you stop shaving for weeks on end

81. When Quadratec comes in the mail its more exciting than when playboy does

82. If youve ever shown up to a place where you know no-one and instantly become best friends with someone just cause they have jeep

83. You've had seaguls crap on your backseat (I live on the coast )

84. When your keep wont start and you find that real meaning to "its a jeep thing, you wouldnt understand"

85. When you start thinking up and contributing to lists like this[addsig]

[Inspector-Gadget]

92. You have received death-threats from your normally loving and good natured main-squeeze just because you ran a disassembled Carter-BBD carburetor though the "power-wash" cycle of her dish washing machine. :-D [addsig]

[purpleyjgirl]

This is great guys!!!!!! Keep them coming I'm enjoying them all.
#93. when singing along to the radio draws an audience and stares at a red light.
#94. when you cant use your outside shower cause its storing your doors and soft top. (am I the only one who does this?)[addsig]

[Snitty]

99. If you take your jeep to a car wash to change parts

The local carwashes are my mechanic shops all the time[addsig]

[purpleyjgirl]

Hahahahaha My husband powder coated his rims in my oven once, Oh what a mess that was........ :-x Now he has his own, thank god that stuff stinks!!!!!!!
102. if instead of going to jiffy lube and paying $25 for a 20 min. oil change you spend about $50 and have a day of hell changing it yourself.[addsig]

[ZBTstang]

103. Everytime you have to drive a normal car it feels like a sports car

104. When people start to refer to you as the guy (or girl) that drives the jeep[addsig]

[purpleyjgirl]

No I didnt want to be sexist or anything about the oil change thing but ummm yeah heres another joke How to Change the Oil in Your Jeep




Women:


Pull in to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3,000 since the last oil change.


Drink a cup of coffee.


Fifteen minutes later, pay $25 and leave with a properly maintained Jeep.




Men:


Go to NAPA Auto Parts and pay $30 for oil, filter, hand cleaner, scented tree air freshener, and numerous other items you realize you need.


Discover that your used oil collection container is full; take it to the recycling center.
Spend 20 minutes trying to locate your floor jack and jack stands; no luck.
Have a beer; you don't really need to jack up the Jeep anyway.
Place used oil collection container under the engine.
Pull out socket wrench and socket; the 5th one you try is finally the correct size.
Unscrew oil drain plug.
Drop drain plug in oil; splashing hot oil all over you (and the garage floor) in the process.
Wipe off face with dirty shop rag and sprinkle kitty litter on garage floor where oil splashed.
Have another beer while oil is draining.
Look 15 minutes for oil filter wrench; no luck.
Poke oil filter with a Phillips screwdriver and twist it off.
Wipe oil off of your arm with same dirty rag used in step 9; sprinkle more kitty litter on floor.
Buddy shows up; finish off 6-pack with him. Screw the oil change; finish it tomorrow!
Next day, drag full oil collection container out from underneath the Jeep.
Sprinkle more kitty litter on oil spilled during step 15.
Have a . . . wait, no beer left, drank it all yesterday.
Walk 2 miles to Corner Store; buy more beer.
Apply a thin coat of clean oil to gasket and install new oil filter.
Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
Remember drain plug from step 8!


Scramble to find drain plug in oil collection container.
Hurry to replace drain plug before entire quart of fresh oil drains all over floor.
Slip with wrench and bang knuckles on frame; band head on floor board in reaction.
Begin cussing fit and throw wrench across garage.
Clean up and apply Band-Aid to knuckles.
Sprinkle kitty litter on one entire quart of fresh oil now pooled under the Jeep.
Have another beer.
Dump in remainder of oil into engine.
Realize that while you were under the Jeep, it would have been a good time to grease everything, bleed the brakes, replace those dry-rotted body spacers, and find out where that hideous clanking noise is coming from.
Drive back to NAPA and buy another $150 worth of parts that either won't fit, will break when you try to install them, or will be saved for a later project (all of which will have long been misplaced by the time you are ready to start subject project).
Drive Jeep (1-quart low of oil) for 7,000 miles; then return to Step 1.








I beg to differ..........Boys!!!!!!



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:-P

edited by: purpleyjgirl, Jul 09, 2003 - 10:17 AM[addsig]

[Utah_jeepster]

OK I will admit I take the womans way out...Jiffy lube...the guys and beleive it or not the Jiffy lube gal love it when I pull the ole jeep into the shop....(please note the shop has two CJ's and a lifted cherokee) and spend a hour trading trail storys.[addsig]

[Snitty]

$13 + 7 minutes = oil change[addsig]

[Snitty]

just make sure you don't put it on too tight, and lube it first... many times the shops will put it on there as tight as they can... and the same goes with the drain plug.... I like to turn my own parts on my jeep... I don't like other people doing stuff that I can't see[addsig]

[RayOvac]

I got one...from my own personal experience....

110. Your jeep has enough lift that you can remove the transmission and transfer case from it without having to jack it up.

111. Every time you see something that even remotly resembles an RTI ramp....you just cant resist.

112. Youve ever tried to ramp your jeep using boards leaned on someones tailgate.[addsig]

	Transfer Case Mounted behind and driven by the vehicle transmission, the transfer case transmits power to the front and rear driveshafts in 4WD Jeep vehicles and offers high and low range.

[Snitty]

115. You modify your vehicle to move slower

116. You spend a whole day, sunrise to sunset, to lead several other vehicles on a 1 mile excursion

117. You have ever wondered "Why does this always grind into 2nd (and/or 3rd) gear?"

118. You buy replacement parts from the hardware store rather than the dealership

119. No part of your vehicle even closely resembles any picture in your repair manual anymore[addsig]

[ZBTstang]

122. When you find yourself waving at all the jeeps even when youre not driving one

123. When you go to look in your rearview mirror and realize they arent there.

124. When you end the trip and realize you no longer have the contents of your left pants pocket

edited by: ZBTstang, Jul 21, 2003 - 04:29 PM[addsig]

[Utah_jeepster]

129: Look at the parking lot to find another Jeep to park next to before you look for the closes to the door.[addsig]