Who give a flying rat's.........?

[JeepMonkey]

http://www.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/03/23/cheney.hotel/index.html

It's official! The news has run out of stuff to report on. How is it that this is newsworthy? I'm surprised they didn't mention what kind of toilet paper he likes to use!

 

[Saurian]

I HATE crap like that... Like every morning when I get on AOL... Britney Spears Eats Big Mac For Lunch! Ozzy Osbourne Misses Garbage Truck! If these people weren't famous, this would be so mundane, it wouldn't be mentioned, but it's plastered all over the media...

 

[Utah_jeepster]

*News Flash*​

Salt Lake City, Utah
Friday March 24th,8:38 Am, Local Time
Local Jeeper, Utah Jeeper Got up late from a sound sleep and calling into his place of work Prime Machine inc. Telling them that he was going to be late today. It appears that yes he is going to be so late that he will in fact be 36 hours late.
With this said an done local Jeeper Utah Jeeper went back to sleep and didn't arise till 8:00 am.
We asked him why he called in when in fact he has Friday thru Sunday off and he said from his balcony, I am still drunk and forgot what day it was.
To this reporter it did indeed look like Utah Jeeper was slightly inebriated. The reason for his condition was he spent the previous evening having a fine dinning experience at a local restaurant and forgot how powerful sake was.

We tried to get further information from Utah Jeeper but he deliberately threw his lit cigarette at this reporter and went inside, refusing to answer our phone calls or knocking on his door.

Joe Bullchit
Internet Times

 

[southtj]

urple: Mmmmm.....sake. It does have a little kick to it doesn't it?

 

[JeepMonkey]

EXACTLY.......to tell you the truth I was more interested in your story UJ!

 

[Sparky-Watts]

We've got a weekly wipe here that prints stories like that...only about the locals. There used to be pages and pages of articles on who had dinner with whom, what they ate, what they talked about, and would always end with "..was enjoyed by all."

 

[mingez]

It's less than a political story, and more of a celebrity rag article. It's what sells, and that's what fuels the media.

 

[TwistedCU]

This is why I like talk radio.

 

[Utah_jeepster]

So does that mean you don't want to hear about 6 inch rock krawler kit I am helping stuff under a 97? Or that I went out to dinner with the wife?

 

[Sparky-Watts]

Wad or Fold?

No Hope, KS (AP Wire)

So the long standing question has been answered in the Watts household this weekend when this reporter did some investigating. Using a small hidden camera placed inconspicuously under the commode rim, it was learned that Sparky Watts does indeed fold his toilet paper, rather than wadding it up into a ball as most people do.

More on this story as it unfolds.....

 

[TwistedCU]

T. M. I. !!!

 

[JeepMonkey]

WAY WAY WAY TOO MUCH! That visual shall haunt me for the rest of my life. Thanks a bunch!

 

[Sparky-Watts]

Tomorrow: Investigative Journalism at it's Best; Smell, Texture, and Consistency.