The OFFICIAL Random thread

[droopey]

Did some one use that shirt to wash a surrey?

[currupt4130]

The symbol for boy written next to the symbol for girl in Chinese means "good". Unfortunately, the symbol for girl, next to the symbol for boy, next to the symbol for girl, is a very bad thing in Chinese. Good thing we don't think like that here

[KrazyJeeper]

This is the best weather forcaster I think I have seen.
Click on thumb.

[Utah_jeepster]

Drivel!
206 posts and not one of you have said something worth wild.
No poems, no profound thoughts except some dumb comment from Spanky and the 101 voices inside his head, no strike that….no matter what, we actually we need to keep him here, just for comic relief, and or a punching bag…
But back to my tirade…like I said none of you have said anything worth wild to read here!
Drivel is about the only word I can come up to explain it. Whose bright idea was it to give you 10 kilobytes of band to spread bul-puckies over the internet? Terry lent you this band width to post important things about jeeps…not garbage, nonsense, wasted band width about nothing!

Jeez people don’t you have anything important to say?

No with comments like I can stick a liught bulb in my socket….come on people get serious here….this is a Jeep web site we should be talking Transfer cases, gear ratio’s and the best approach,angles for some stupid run.

BUT NOOOOOooo! We get to hear about Sparkies voices…all 101. Oh and we have to listen to ole Mingez whine about the snow…toughen it up wimp, you live in Denver for gods sake.



And the worst….I mean the worst is that some clown from Utah can get you to spend several minutes reading his drivel. Now that is several minutes you will never get back…oh that 15 for TC he’s a slow reader, and Mud yes I am writing this slowly for you
now where was I …oh ya thats several minutes you will never get back, gone! Poof!
WASTED!

Now how does it feel to get tricked by some dumb guy from Utah who wasted 12 kilobytes of band width and several minutes of your short life making you read his daily drivel because he had to waste several minutes of his life to read yours so now to get a sick and twisted revenge I wasted several minutes of all of your lives......hahahahah

[90Xjay]

Drivel!
206 posts and not one of you have said something worth wild.
No poems, no profound thoughts except some dumb comment from Spanky and the 101 voices inside his head, no strike that….no matter what, we actually we need to keep him here, just for comic relief, and or a punching bag…
But back to my tirade…like I said none of you have said anything worth wildto read here!
Drivel is about the only word I can come up to explain it. Whose bright idea was it to give you 10 kilobytes of band to spread bul-puckies over the internet? Terry lent you this band width to post important things about jeeps…not garbage, nonsense, wasted band width about nothing!

Jeez people don’t you have anything important to say?

No with comments like I can stick a liught bulb in my socket….come on people get serious here….this is a Jeep web site we should be talking Transfer cases, gear ratio’s and the best approach,angles for some stupid run.

BUT NOOOOOooo! We get to hear about Sparkies voices…all 101. Oh and we have to listen to ole Mingez whine about the snow…toughen it up wimp, you live in Denver for gods sake.



And the worst….I mean the worst is that some clown from Utah can get you to spend several minutes reading his drivel. Now that is several minutes you will never get back…oh that 15 for TC he’s a slow reader, and Mud yes I am writing this slowly for you
now where was I …oh ya thats several minutes you will never get back, gone! Poof!
WASTED!

Now how does it feel to get tricked by some dumb guy from Utah who wasted 12 kilobytes of band width and several minutes of your short life making you read his daily drivel because he had to waste several minutes of his life to read yours so now to get a sick and twisted revenge I wasted several minutes of all of your lives......hahahahah

I couldn't help but notice the words you chose to use.
I've always heard the phrase, "something worth while"

Are you the guy in the FED EX commercials who has to be corrected all of the time about things like "Steely Dan is not one person," & "We get fringe benefits, not French benefits, it's not the Leaning Tower of Pizza, and James Dean was an actor—Jimmy Dean makes sausage?

I read your post and it wasn't a waste of my time, I enjoyed it and was to some extent enlightend by it. And I happen to belive that statements like "I just farted" are profound....profoundly funny.


So Chill...........


BTW, I'm just jerking your chain..

[southtj]

...No poems, no profound thoughts...

Profound thoughts? Profound thoughts? You really want some profound thoughts? Here ya go.

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Can you be a closet claustrophobic?

[southtj]

And some more.

If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?

If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?

When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?

[southtj]

I've warned you.

If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

Why is the word abbreviation so long?

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?

What do you do when you discover an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?

Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?

Is it possible to be totally partial?

What's another word for thesaurus?

When companies ship styrofoam, what do they pack it in?

If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream?

Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

Do radioactive cats have 18 half lives?

If you shoot a mime, do you need a silencer?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

How can they tell that twin lobsters are really twins?

What is the speed of dark?

How come you never hear about gruntled employees?

What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?

If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?

What's another word for synonym?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

When sign makers go on strike, what is written on their picket signs?

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a chapter 11?

How can there be self-help groups?

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

Why are there interstate highways is Hawaii?

Why is it that when you transport something by car it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship it's called cargo?

Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Where are preparations A through G?

When you open a new bag of cotton balls, are you supposed to throw the top one away?

When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there staring at the carpet?

What happened to the first 6 "ups"?

If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow? Or maybe I'll just have a bunch of purples.

Why does your nose run, and your feet smell?

If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

[lethaldose]

ITS A CELEBRATION BEECHES

[southtj]

Have you guys ever been to Pandora.com?...
http://pandora.com/

Thanks for the heads up, I'm lovin it. I've seen this or something like it a few years ago but forgot about it.

[lethaldose]

Milking machine

A farmer ordered a high-tech milking machine. Since the equipment arrived when his wife was out of town, he decided to test it on himself first. So, he inserted his penis into the equipment, turned the switch on and everything else was automatic! Soon, he realized that the equipment provided him with as much pleasure as his wife did. When the fun was over, though, he quickly realized that he couldn't remove the instrument from his penis, and his discomfort was quickly building. He read the manual but didn't find any useful information. He tried every button on the instrument, but still without success. Finally, the farmer decided to call the supplier's Customer Service Hot Line. "Hello, I just bought a milking machine from your company. It works fantastically, but how do I remove it from the cow's udder? I... I mean the cow seems to be in a lot of pain." "Don't worry," replied the customer service rep, "the machine was programmed to release automatically once it's collected two gallons of milk."


LOL

[hillbillyman06]

light humor

A guy and a gal meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl's place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands.

He then takes of his trousers and washes his hands again. The girl has been watching him and says, You must be a dentist.

The Guy, surprised, says YES....how did you figure that out? Easy, she replied, you keep washing your hands.

One thing led to another and they made love. After they are done, the girl says, You must be a really good dentist.

The guy now with a boosted ego and smug smile he says, Well yes I'm a good dentist. How did you figure that out?

Didn't feel a thing.

[southtj]

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[90Xjay]

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[droopey]

Yea... yea..I buy my boxers from K-mart in cincinnati.

[southtj]

So I read this article about a physicist who claims he's generating power by bombarding boron with neutrons to produce carbon-12, which decays, finally, into three helium atoms.

My understanding of the curve of binding energy is that the only way to get energy from nuclei smaller than iron is to fuse small ones into large ones. Fission of small nuclei should take energy, right? So how does his process work? Where does the energy come from? There'll be an increase in entropy through producing three atoms from one, but that'd always be the case with fission, right? Is there a change in mass? Where? (Still have 6 protons, 6 neutrons, seem to have added one electron.)

Anyone? Anyone?

[Sparky-Watts]

What did tornadoes sound like before they invented the freight train?

[prariepunk]

Boo! I'm still breathing.... but still Jeepless

[Sparky-Watts]

If 7-11's are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

[Sparky-Watts]

Is it illegal to yell "movie" in a crowded firehouse?